The Art of Invisibility

Perhaps this is a common talent of the introvert? Last night, I approached a woman with whom I’ve had many encounters over the years and she clearly had no recollection of me. The same night, another woman with whom I’ve exchanged multiple emails, and to whom I’ve personally conversed and handed my personal calling card, within the last three months, thought I looked “somewhat familiar,” until reminded.

Those weren’t the first instances. One of my favorites in the last few months, occurred while traveling to an out-of-state, event.  A woman, self-proclaimed as, “the one who knows everyone”, approached me and said, “I don’t know you.   You must be new”.

“No, I’ve been here 11 years”…

“I’ve never seen you. Where do you stand in your chorus?”

“On the Front Row”

“Oh…… Where do you stand in relation to …?”

“Right next to her”.

Admittedly, this annoyed me.  Then, it bothered me that it had bothered me.  After pondering this for several days, I finally came to this conclusion:

I had purposely crafted myself into this little known person, to keep from becoming overly involved.

As a single person, I was very involved in many community activities that consumed large amounts of time.  This is a blessing for a single person, to stay busy, to make many friends, and to help the community.  I was the girl that everyone knew.  Ten years ago, I married and gained 3 step-sons.  At that time, I made the conscious decision to limit my involvement in certain activities that would mean time away from the family.  Now, as an empty nester, my reluctance to get overly involved allows my husband and I to have free time for travel and other daily adventures.  Without children at home, we are re-defining our relationship, yet again.

So, from now on, when someone doesn’t recognize me or remember me, I am going to celebrate. For that is exactly what I wanted.


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