Queen of De-nial!

My marriage is one made in heaven. My husband LOVES to cook. I LOVE to eat! When we married in 2003, I was a healthy size 8. My frame is thin but I love my sweets and good food. In the first two years of marriage, I had grown to a size 16 and quickly pushing 18.

Looking back, there were many red signs.

Clothes- Each time I began getting uncomfortable in my clothes, I would get irritable and complain to my loving husband, “I’m getting fat!” 😦

“Just buy a bigger size,” he would say.

You know what? That works!  You get retail therapy.  Go shopping. Buy all new clothes.  You feel great again, but in denial.

Note: anytime your husband is saying “Just buy bigger clothes,” instead of “just lose a few pounds.”  He is a very, smart husband and knows how to avoid a fight. I’m mean, really? What did I expect him to say? He couldn’t win.

Red flag.

Photos – I am not one to seek attention for myself.  Being the one holding the camera ensures that I won’t have to view them.  Why is that? Self-esteem issue, or denial? Each Christmas, or Easter, I tried to get a family photo with less than satisfactory results.  They always placed me at an angle that made me look large.

Hmm.  Red flag.

Taking my nephews or god-son to the park, and trying to swing beside them but not being able to fit in the seat.  Or, making the mistake of thinking I could slide down the slide only to find that my hips were wider than the slide.

Hmmm. Red flag.

Being fit for a new costume and being told that I needed disproportionate sizes, a medium on top and an extra-large on bottom.

Hmmmm. I’m being surrounded by Red Flags!

Mirrors –  Have you ever noticed that all the mirrors in the house have been arranged higher than waist level? My upper half is not my problem.

Using a mirror was the last straw to breaking my denial.  My trainer told me to strip down into sports bra and shorts and take a photo of myself from the front and back.  The results shocked me!  I did not recognize my body from the back side.  That was THE moment when I committed to make a change.

By simply decreasing portion sizes, I dropped 20 lbs in the first year and by adding a little exercise, I dropped 35 lbs in two years.

Eight years later, I’ve grown to a size 14 over the last 16 months.  With a recent move and all the traveling with my husband, eating habits have been poor.  Knee and back injuries have plagued my exercise regimen into nonexistence.  Writing this post, has helped put me back on track.

I am no longer Queen of DE-NIAL!

 

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