Queen of De-nial!

My marriage is one made in heaven. My husband LOVES to cook. I LOVE to eat! When we married in 2003, I was a healthy size 8. My frame is thin but I love my sweets and good food. In the first two years of marriage, I had grown to a size 16 and quickly pushing 18.

Looking back, there were many red signs.

Clothes- Each time I began getting uncomfortable in my clothes, I would get irritable and complain to my loving husband, “I’m getting fat!” ūüė¶

“Just buy a bigger size,” he would say.

You know what? That works!  You get retail therapy.  Go shopping. Buy all new clothes.  You feel great again, but in denial.

Note: anytime your husband is saying “Just buy bigger clothes,” instead of “just lose a few pounds.” ¬†He is a very, smart husband and knows how to avoid a fight. I’m mean, really? What did I expect him to say? He couldn’t win.

Red flag.

Photos – I am not one to seek attention for myself. ¬†Being the one holding the camera ensures that I won’t have to view them. ¬†Why is that? Self-esteem issue, or denial? Each Christmas, or Easter, I tried to get a family photo with less than satisfactory results. ¬†They always placed me at an angle that made me look large.

Hmm.  Red flag.

Taking my nephews or god-son to the park, and trying to swing beside them but not being able to fit in the seat.  Or, making the mistake of thinking I could slide down the slide only to find that my hips were wider than the slide.

Hmmm. Red flag.

Being fit for a new costume and being told that I needed disproportionate sizes, a medium on top and an extra-large on bottom.

Hmmmm. I’m being surrounded by Red Flags!

Mirrors –¬† Have you ever noticed that all the mirrors in the house have been arranged¬†higher than waist level? My upper half is not my problem.

Using a mirror was the last straw to breaking my denial.  My trainer told me to strip down into sports bra and shorts and take a photo of myself from the front and back.  The results shocked me!  I did not recognize my body from the back side.  That was THE moment when I committed to make a change.

By simply decreasing portion sizes, I dropped 20 lbs in the first year and by adding a little exercise, I dropped 35 lbs in two years.

Eight years later, I’ve grown to a size 14 over the last 16 months. ¬†With a recent move and all the traveling with my husband, eating habits have been poor. ¬†Knee and back injuries have plagued my exercise regimen into nonexistence. ¬†Writing this post, has helped put me back on track.

I am no longer Queen of DE-NIAL!


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